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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

It's all in fun... Or do you beg to differ?

Good morning, I apologize, but my Monday got a hold of me and I was unable to post anything yesterday. Today I want to talk about having fun!!! I know that having fun is a broad topic, but when I speak about it, I'm wondering how much fun are you willing to let your significant other have? I know people who have many different aspects on it and personally I know from experience that mine is a bit different from that of the average female. Not saying that there aren't any women who think the way I do, because I know there are many, but just in my circle of friends alone, it differs a bit.

Take me for example, I am very, very comfortable with my significant other hanging with his boys and doing what they do, even if it's going to a strip club. Some women wonder, "Why does he need to go to the strip club", but if he has the desire and you can't get on a pole, or throw on some sexy heels and dance for your man, then I say let him do his thing. Heck, even if your willing to dance for him, I think it's cool to spice things up a bit and let him enjoy that environment from time to time if that is what he wants to do. I have dated someone and I've personally gone to the club with them and paid for them to get dances and vice versa, it's entertainment folks. No big deal, no harm intended, Just having Fun. Some women don't want their husbands to have a bachelor party before they get married, or they want to dictate what is done at the party, I say let him have fun.

On the flip side, some men get a bit jealous if their significant other hangs with males. Some feel that if they are not hanging with their girls, then there is something going on. Is it not okay, that your girl may want to watch a basketball game with some fellas, or they may want to go shoot pool at the billiards and drink some beer? They may just have a male that they are really cool with and may want to kick it and shoot the breeze. Just because my girls are not there, doesn't have to mean that there is something going on? I know of some males who want their significant other to cut off all ties with any male friend they have that isn't family. So I think personally, that in both cases, maybe the male or female is a bit insecure about themselves or what they have when they don't want their significant other to be able to do anything with someone of the opposite sex or someone that they could possibly be attracted to. So my question is, how much fun is to much fun? And how do you feel about the different scenarios that I spoke on? Please give more scenarios if you have different ones.

Anticipating your thoughts and responses...


  1. Wow, great one EJ! I have lots of thoughts on this one, as my significant other has man-ty (as Madea would probably say) insecurity issues when it comes to outside friendships and having fun in my eyes. I don't get the ideal of men/women thinking that because something was done to them in the past, any person in their future is capable of the same. Thus the insecurity of letting that person go. I think any relationship worth having, one that will eventually survive, encompasses two people understanding how to cope as one and at the same time understanding how to cope as individuals. If the other person cannot deal with you going out and having fun with your friends, having a little "me" time doing the things you like to do (because old fun should not have to stop with a new relationship), then there is not trust in the relationship and it may not be meant to last.

    But again, people come from so many different backgrounds and they may think that the kind of fun you mention above is wrong or disrespectful or blah, blah, blah; but I don't believe that person really knows him/herself at all. If you liked to do these things when you were single, then why don't you like them now? You can't change who you are and you can't let others decide what life should be like for you.

    There's so much more, but I'll stop before I get ahead of myself.

  2. Nice topic, I will say this that mars and venus holds true in this circumstance. Men have the inclination that we control everything and want to feel powerful by the actions of that control. Men are insecure about physical actions because most (use the term lightly) women act if there if there is an emotional attachment so if she gets into it emotionally you have lost your woman. Now there is also the insecurity of there is a man that is doing more "than I am" money, cars, clothes, smooth talker etc. Men always think (whether you want to admit it fellas is another thing) that the next man is smoother or has some edge over him. That is just our insecurities, now on the other hand women (personal opinion) fear (with the lack of men with substance (good or working on doing better)) that a man is always looking for something else (playing on the personal insecurities of one's self hence trying to control) know by nature we are physical beings so seeing another pretty woman (even in the eyes of the significant other) might attract them to do something. Also, know that there are certain things that you will not do (sexually) may have him wondering what the next female may do (once again a insecurity). SpRSt05 makes a great point that the past does play a role in insecurities. Now my philosophy (my opinion) I think you just live....meaning if you agree to him/her chilling with the opposite sex then you have to be sure with yourself that even if something happens you open the gate for that and having a understanding that a person will do what they want to do when they want. I firmly believe that so I'm not too worried lol. My wife has a few male friends most I know the others I don't but, I trust her fully but she is not outgoing and we are together a lot too so it's easier. Great topic today.......everyone is different its a matter of belief, hell if you let "him/her" have that freedom it may let them "live a little" but they know that freedom is on a short leash so they know better on the other hand if you try to control all it may have the adverse effect and vice versa. Just my 2 cents